Vanity, Vanity, All must not be Vanity

I work a job in which I sit in front of a camera on average five or six hours a day and have been doing 6 to 7 days a week.  I'm in the process of cutting back and keeping my Sabbath and hopefully not going over 5 hours a day.   But that is not my point at the moment.

My thoughts at the moment are carnal: ---- in need of being dealt with and changed ..... Here we go with the negative:

Flab, Sag, Jiggle, Wrinkle, Rolls, Blue Veins, Jiggle, Lines, Creases, Midriff flab, Belly Fat, Neck Sag, Turkey goblet giggle under chin, the double chin, Oh, and the chin hair, unwanted mustache,   Old gnarly fingers, purple puffy working hands,   smile lines going  South, dark circles under eyes, bags under eyes, bushy, out of control eye brows,  and not to mention the bad hair days .... oh my yes, bad hair days.  So have I made my point to myself?

So according to Dr Caroline Leaf, these must be my toxic thoughts that have to be laid at the throne of grace.  Here they go .....

And here comes positive affirmations covered by God Words to replace those destructive toxic thoughts.

My Creator makes all things good and beautiful.

My God does all things well.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

People  look on the outward appearance but the real issue is on the heart.

There is grace in aging.

Wisdom is the 'thing' above all get wisdom.

Breaking the Silence



Self Indulgence in Hawaii

I've taken a very long break from blogging.   It has been a very busy summer, but I just lost interest in blogging for a while ..... or perhaps I simply had nothing to say.  This blog is simply my own therapy for documenting the steps and events in my life.    So the exceedingly hot summer which involved three trips to Branson and two weeks in Hawaii were certainly worthy of talking about .... maybe it was because when we were 'going somewhere' I was working every single hour  I could get to help pay for the fun we were having.

Then I was doing my Bible Study this morning from Asbury's Prayer Journal.   And I read James 4:3 "When you ask,  you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."   Oooouch,  I am working my head, hands and heart off just for my own pleasures?    Maybe it is time to retire and slow down.
 http://grandkidsonly.blogspot.com/2012/05/boys-in-branson-in-may.html

http://grandkidsonly.blogspot.com/2012/08/trip-2-to-branson-girl-cousin-trip.html



Selfish in the Lava Spa

 So here is the prayer:  "Lord, bring to light what is hidden in darkness and expose the motives of my heart so that nothing will hinder my faith and service."    It is time for self-examination of my heart, so here are the questions I am challenged to ask of myself:

+  How does shopping for anything make you feel?  I really don't consider myself much of a shopper.  When I need to buy something, I just want to go get it and get out of the store.
+  Why do you buy the brands and styles you do?  Why buy things just because they are on sale?      I'm not all that much into brands and styles but I do have a major problem with only wanting to buy things that are on sale.    I don't think I necessarily buy things just because they are on sale but I only want to buy the sale items.
+  Why spend $20 on pizza when it could buy a mosquito net that will save an entire family from malaria or help free a woman from human trafficking?   We definitely eat out too much.  However, I've gotten into the 'groupon/living social' community to save and often use those for other family members so that they can enjoy eating out.  I do also contribute  good amount to the needy and do it with a happy heart.


Self Enjoyment on the Maui Beach

 +  Why do you take 4 vacations a year when you could take one and send three young adults to the mission field?   If I took four vacations a year it would be because I am 74 years old and don't know how much longer it will be that I can travel.   I work hard to pay for those vacations and I do help send kids to summer camps, home schooling classes and contribute to missions.    I can do better so I will work on that.
+  Why are your closets and garage filled to capacity?  That is something we are working on just because we know they are 'things' that mean nothing to anyone after we are gone.   We've got a long way to go but the closets have gotten better over the past 5 or 6 years.    I definitely  need to clean out -- I just have not taken the time to do it.   Why????  God forgive me, I must clean out and give away.  I've always hated having garage sales, I prefer to just give it away.

+  Why do you own 10 Bibles, 5 coats, 40 pairs of shoes and kitchen gadgets you never use?  Once again, God forgive me.  It is not that I have any special attachment to the stuff .. it just takes time to get rid of it.   Why or why???? is it because I am lazy ..... I believe that must be it.   

+  Why are your spare rooms empty when 3,000+ children are crowded into Oklahoma's shelter today?   Because I raised 5 children and am enjoying the 'empty nest'    I think this is total selfishness.....totally selfishness in myself.    Ouch!  And we did one of those kids some 20 years ago and experience the heartbreak and pain that accompanies troubled children.  We've invited guest into our home and experienced the pain of having to ask them to leave please.  However, all of that is selfishness on my part.

+  Why did God bless you if not for you to be a blessing to others?  That is exactly right, every blessing is to be shared.   I do share but I can always do more.  Right now a lot of my sharing is with needy grandchildren and kids who mismanage their own resources.    I'm learning and I'm endeavoring to do better.



Self Pleasure looking into a Crater



+  What is the younger generation in your life learning as a result of your habits?    Well, the grand kids are learning that Pops and Nans can be a lot of fun and that we love them and want to spend time with them.   We do make efforts to sow good seed into their lives. 

The reason why I overindulge myself??????
1.  I have experiences scarcity in the past.

2  I believe that God's Word teaches that He wants to prosper and bless me and to enjoy his goodness...such as opening up the windows of heaven and pouring out a blessing....and I believe I am to share that blessing.

3.  And I am willing to let go and allow God to speak to me about what he would like for me to do with the resources He has blessed me with. 

Parched, Burnt, Pruned, And Still One Can Find Beauty

Ken made this sign 45 years ago--Survivor Evidence!

Oklahoma has had an extremely HOT SUMMER with forty-three days over 100 degrees and too many of those days 110 and up to 117 degrees of heat and little to no rain.  It has taken a toll on the Scrivner property as it has all of Oklahoma. Right now there are so many grass fires.  When the city tree- trimmers came to 'scalp' us even more, I grabbed the little Fuji for some photos bearing out evidence of a tough time of heat and pruning.  The tree trimmers are preparing for winter and the ice storms that possibly break electrical lines and they are TOUGH on trees.     This blog is set to bear witness that Scrivner's are tough survivors as well as our surroundings.




Ken took this panarama of our front yard in the spring with his IPhone

 And this is this morning's sun shinning through the trees that I am shooting into.

Can you see the workman back there? 

And here is another man up in a little maple. 

Here are the wires they are cutting away from and oh my, did they cut a lot off of that old Pecan Tree. The man climbed almost to the top with his saw.

They left us half of a Pecan Tree

Can you believe we have patches of dead fescue grass in our yard -- even with a sprinkling system and a very high water bill!  Yes, this is an area of our front yard where the sprinkler must miss...and it is Fescue so no need to water now until we can throw new seed.  Even worse, you should see what the moles are doing....they make it double trouble.

But life is not all bad.  There are areas of green.  What is shown in the background are the Pecan branches cut from our largest Pecan Tree in the back. They will be ground into mulch for the city.

In the spring, I set out a number of garden pots on the back deck.  Four different kinds of tomatoes, two different varieties of lavender, thyme, parsley, several mints, basil, etc.   The goal was to choose hardy plants which could survive Oklahoma Heat.  But they did not survive this year.  Now in the beginning, it was wonderful -- until mid June -- and by mid July, there was death around us.  So Sad!   Ken had planted Marigolds to keep pests away.  Only one out of the six marigold plants live -- shouldn't marigolds survive anything?  

Knowing that with God all things are possible and when we trust HIM, HE brings new life out of death,  I decided to go searching the yard for signs of beauty and of life.  Although not easily visible, I did find some glorious beauty.     

The hibiscus bloomed very late but it did bloom. 

Our angel guards a few seeds from the cone flowers. 

The pampas grass was 'hanging in there' and the Cone Flowers had two tiny pale blossoms left. The Swan on the deck had one lonely pink petunia among the dried up stems and then the Crape Myrtles....Crape Myrtles always withstand the summer heat. But ours suffered from the harsh winter so the main branchs produced nothing and the shooters from beneath gave us late flowers.  The Mexican Petunias from Millie, did finally sprout and I found one lonely blossom.

Having shown all of this, I see my life moving in similar cycles.  Beauty, success, bearing fruit and them moving into periods of parched, dry, burned and fruitless.   Yet, there is always hope and never an end....it is a cycle which returns to fruitfulness and glorious hope.

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart:  don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;  He's the one who will keep you on track.  Don't assume that you know it all.  Run to God! Run from evil!  Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!  Honor God with everything you own; give HIM the first and the best.  Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over.  But don't dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction.  It's the child HE loves that God corrects;  a father's delight is behind all this.:  Prov 3: 5-10 The Message.

Remembering The Steps Through The Valley With Great Gratitude



Ken and Duke, 2004

  




2004, we had taken a road trip to Austin Texas

  

Ken and Carson, Christmas 2006



Today, I'm going to talk about my hunnie, Ken.  Last Tuesday, August 23rd, Ken finally got his right knee replacement.  This in itself is a bit of a miracle.  It was ten years ago that Ken came home from work  in the middle of the day with his knee hurting.  By evening, the pain and swelling was bad enough that I took him to the emergency room in the old St Francis Broken Arrow Hospital.  They drained his knee of fluids and after running some test sent him home.

The pain and swelling continued to worsen to the point that I took him back.  He saw a Dr. Peterson, who decided to do a laparoscopic cleansing of the knee and at this time diagnosed it as MRSA.  Sent him home again with pain pills overlooking other important needs.



He continued to grow more and more sick.  The knee locked up and would not move so,  I took him back again where Dr Peterson did a second laparoscopic surgery.  Said this time he 'cleaned it out really good' and this time followed up with a specialist who supervised the pic and strong medication he was now on to 'beat' the deadly staph MRSA as well as physical therapy.  After about six weeks, Ken was getting better.  Ken tells me that he actually thought he was dying at one point.  And I've learned that many people do die from this resistant infection.




Continuous Movement Machine Aug 28

 

All of this left Ken with a limp and knee pain.  However, because of MRSA, no doctor would touch him -- telling him he needed to be MRSA-free for 3-5 years.  After five years, he was ready for his knee surgery but he failed his heart stress test.  Now another major problem:   diagnosed with heart disease with blockages everywhere and no place to repair -- no bypass possible because no where to connect.  We were told there were just too many blockages.  He was sent home saying "there is nothing we can do."

So the good news was GOD IS OUR HOPE AND OUR REFUGE.  

 Another four years passed and last year, Ken suffered kidney failure and a light stroke.  He was a VERY sick man.   Once again the healing power of God prevailed and he recovered.  During that three months of healing, he met several people who gave him the name of a wonderful knee specialist...Dr Mittal.  And in the previous year, we had attended a seminal with Dr Rajesh Chandwaney, a heart specialist who Ken felt he trusted.  After a year with Dr Chandwaney, doctor found a blockage that could be repaired.  Ken went through the 'blockage removal and stint insertion procedure last April  with an approval for knee surgery in three months.  Then he had his Gall bladder removed and now for Ken's third surgery this year, he now has a brand new titanium right knee.  He is doing very well, coping with the pain and discomfort and most willingly doing his physical therapy. 

The Shades Of Brown Before Spring

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:  a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot ............................... God has made everything beautiful in its time ................. I know there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live .......... this is "God's gift ...."  parts of Ecclesiastes 3:

Haikey Creek Park:  Today is a very beautiful, crisp, sunny day.  The snow is gone (it could return before it is done) and the rains are on hold for now.  It is Sunday.  We went to church last night and learned I've got to be humble and admit I have much to learn in order to get out from under problems.  The motto was "Run Till You're Done" ...don't give up.  Pastor is teaching a series on BROKE.  I did Covenant Church on line and Ken went to Asbury this morning.  So this afternoon, we decided to take Babe and walk in the park.  Ken's health is greatly improved and he is walking much better without anti-inflammatory or pain medications.   We have much to be grateful!

The park is not radiant with color yet.  Yes, it is all the shades of Oklahoma Brown.  I never cared much for brown. I've never considered Tulsa to be lovely in brown.  I don't mean I dislike it.  It's just not my favorite color.  I do wear brown, and I do have brown in the house, but when I wear it myself, I feel a bit drab.  Brown is part of God's creation, therefore I will to appreciate all the shades of God's brown. 

Haikey Creek still bears strong evidences of the notorious ice storm of 2007.  As we walked through the park, Ken commented about why don't they get local inmates out here and clean up the park, saw up the wood and clean the parks out.    Once summer is here, we will not be able to see the aftermath of previous ice storm devastation.

We saw a lot of activity in the park.  Here a lady is sketching.

A few buds and leaves just beginning to sprout.

Last years foliage hanging on.

Are you starting to appreciate the shades of brown with me yet?

As I think about Brown, it seems our lives right now are surrounded with a lot of 'brown feeling' challenges.  The challenges our children are facing, the knowledge that when Jenny is silent as she is now, she is not doing well.  The major decisions that the Scharpf family are facing.  The tremendous financial strain on seemingly everyone.  It is good to know that soon the season of brown will give way to new life springing forth.  Bright colors, happy colors, joyful colors.  Let Life Spring Up Quickly!

Ecclesiastes also tells us there is a time to kill and another to heal, a right time to destroy and another to construct, a right time to cry and another to laugh, a right time to lament and another to cheer ......

A Time To Rest.

A time to smile, A time to enjoy, A time to breath,

A Time to Reflect and A Time to Cleanse.

A Time For Organization. A Time For Planning.

Our Haikey Creek stroll through the shades of brown, tired that tiny somewhat brown dog.  She does not get a lot of exercise from her master .... today they both did great enjoying the goodness of our Father.

A Time For Strolling.

A Time for Friendship and Play.

Soon I will be able to experience words from Solomon:  "..... Look around you:  Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone!   Spring flowers are in blosson all over.  The whole world's a choir -- and singing!  Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios.  Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed......"

It's Been A Rough Summer - Life is Getting Better

Practically everywhere I turn I hear similar comments.  First of all, "where did our summer go .... kids back in school and I can't remember what happened."   Summer was rough at our house.   It started with Ken getting sick in April.  All attention was on the Pops getting well.  And getting well he is indeed.  Still, our lives and our surroundings show some battle scars.   Not that it was horrible, just rough.
April and her family have been right there beside us helping, and we are so grateful.  Yet even with all the help in the most important matters, the early spring fescue seeding, the fertilizing, weeding, loving touches had to be put on hold and now, like Ken is mending, so is our home and little gardens.

The front porch and yard are so important to Ken and they probably have never faired so poorly with all the 100 degrees plus Oklahoma heat and a broken sprinkling system which leaked the water down the street instead of on the yard and flowers.  (If you saw our water bill you would know what I mean.)

But now the sprinkler system has been repaired and Dave is painting the house and there is hope for recovery for the entry way as well as the lawn.

Rosie Sanding

Lily scrapping

So with Rosie's sanding and Lily's wire brushing the wrought  iron furniture, and with Elijah and Dave helping to clean up the front deck, the situation is looking very promising.

Even the wax begonias which should have been very tall and full of flowers and totally filling in the flowerbed, are sickly and sad to behold.

And the Mexican Petunias from Millie which bloomed last year have just now begun to show a flower maybe once every week.  They are a stubborn wild plant which goes underground and pops up where least expected.   But it gives a token blossom just often enough to keep me from totally cutting it to the ground this year.  I already know it will come back up next  year. 

Then those impostors that came up with the lovely Cone Flowers.  They looked like the Coneflower stalks.  I let them grow not realizing they were counterfeits until they did not bloom.  I advertised on Facebook asking what they were but not one answer other than they look like weeds.  Because curosity got  the best of me, I left them to identified them later as Goldenrod's -- yellow flowers that grow along the highway.  Then Dave pulled them out for me yesterday.  Wonder if they will be back next year and I won't be able to know which is Goldenrod and which is my beautiful Coneflower.

So all the signs of hope are there --- though we were mostly dead, yet shall me live again.

And with all the hard work that Dave is doing with our home, it is looking good again.

Thank  you God for all your bountiful blessings.  And thank you for family that cares when there is a need.

Here is the front door today --  and in a couple more days, it will be masterfully beautiful again.

And our Papa is a Very Happy Man!

The tinyest of all, Babe who almost got given away during those rough weeks of illness and summer heat, managed to make it to her first birthday with Papa's love for her renewed .  Here she is with her First Birthday Grooming.  Her Master regards Babe as his little pride and joy all over again, hardly remembering those annoying weeks of disobedience and yapping.